My Name is Trixie
By FanFrom76/Pam
By FanFrom76/Pam
Chapter One
“Mr. Belden,” the young nurse said, “Dr. Collier will see you now.” She stepped to the office door and opened it.
“Thank you,” Brian said. He rose and wiped his now sweaty hands on his pant legs as he mentally prepared to meet the doctor whose work he had come to admire.
“Dr. Collier,” the nurse said as she led the way inside. “This is Brian Belden, a pre-med out of NYU,” she supplied as introduction.
“Thank you, Sydney.” Dr. Collier turned and faced the young student. “Brian, it’s good to finally meet you. All of your professors speak very highly of you.” He extended his hand to Brian.
“The pleasure is all mine, Dr. Collier. I am very intrigued by your work. I consider this opportunity to interview an honor in itself.” Brian accepted the doctor’s hand and hoped he didn’t sound like a starstruck teenager.
“Please call me Randy,” Dr. Collier told him. “Why don’t you take a seat and we’ll get started.” He indicated the chairs across from his desk.
Brian took a seat in one of the two available chairs and was surprised when Randy came from around the desk and sat in the other. As Dr. Collier swiveled his chair toward Brian, Brian swiveled to face the doctor.
“I find this type setting helps people to relax, and feel less intimidated. I hope you don’t mind,” Randy explained.
Brian nodded. “This is fine.” He hoped his nervousness wasn’t showing.
For the next half hour, Randy and Brian talked about medical school, favorite subjects, hobbies, and the impending research Dr. Collier was undertaking. Finally as Brian began to feel a conclusion to the interview approaching, he was asked the one question he had not anticipated.
“So, Brian… why don’t you tell me why you want to spend your summer in Chicago to become an unpaid research assistant for a man you do not know?”
Brian was visibly thrown. “Ex…Excuse me?” he asked as a way of seeking clarification.
“Brian, let me be honest with you… you are selling yourself too hard. You want this badly. I can tell from your answers, and although I’m honored you think so highly of my research… I just can’t help but wonder…” Dr. Collier informed him gently.
Brian looked crestfallen. Had he over prepared? He needed this. Had he blown it completely? His head was whirling with how to respond.
“Tell me, Brian… why my research? Why Chicago?”
Taking a deep breath, Brian let it out slowly and began.
“Dr. Collier, it all started about two years ago. My friends and I… moved my sister here, to Chicago. She had a scholarship to Great Lakes University,” Brian explained.
“Go on,” Randy encouraged him.
“Trixie… that’s my sister, she has… had wanted to be a detective, to study criminology and she was finally going to get started on her dream…” Brian let his voice trail off.
“Did something happen to your sister?” Dr. Collier asked.
Brian nodded as he continued, “Yes, she… disappeared.”
“Disappeared? What do you mean she disappeared?” he asked intrigued.
“The Bob-Whites, a club my sister and I both belong to,” Brian offered as way of giving a simple explanation, “drove Trixie down. We used three cars. One of them was Trixie’s, but we had seven drivers. We would need two cars to take the six of us home.” Brian was rambling, but Dr. Collier sensed he needed to let it all out, and merely encouraged him to continue.
“The day we left, Jim, Trixie’s boyfriend, called her. We were only two hours away. We could have… should have… gone back.” Brian was becoming upset. He stopped and breathed deeply.
“Why?” Randy asked. “What was wrong?”
“Trixie didn’t answer her phone, it went to her voicemail. She never turned her phone off. Not ever. We should have known. We… no, I… I should have known,” Brian said, dropping his head in his hands.
“What happened?” Randy asked, his voice not much above a whisper. He suddenly felt Brian was brought to him for this very reason. Whatever had happened to his sister was eating him alive. Randy vowed to himself that, no matter what, he would do his best to help him.
“Jim wanted to turn back. He was worried… but, I convinced him that we should keep going… that she was fine,” Brian stopped and shook his head. “If we’d turned back… like Jim wanted… maybe, just maybe some of the last two years could have been prevented.”
“What could have been prevented?” Randy asked quietly.
“Trixie’s disappearance.” Brian said simply. “No one has seen or heard from her since,” he further explained. “If we had gone back…maybe…” he shrugged helplessly.
“How would going back have changed things?” Randy asked, needing to understand why this young man appeared to be blaming himself.
“If we had gone back… looked for her ourselves… we could have found someone…anyone…who might have seen what happened to her. The authorities could have been looking sooner,” Brian concluded sounding as if he had heard someone say this over and over.
“When did they start looking?” Dr. Collier asked curiously.
“A week later.” Brian closed his eyes as he answered, haunted by the memory.
“Why so long?” Randy asked perplexed. It didn’t sound normal to him.
Taking a reassuring breath, Brian continued, “Jim kept trying to reach her all the way home. He never did get an answer. I tried, Moms and Dad tried, Mart, Honey, Di, Dan… even Bobby tried. We all left messages. All we got was her voicemail and she never called any of us back,” Brian explained, sounding helpless. “Finally Moms called the dean of students. Trixie had never reported to any of her classes. That’s when we knew… when we were certain that something was really wrong. Jim borrowed his dad’s private jet and flew back out here to check on her. My parents and the Bob- Whites all came with him,” Brian told him quietly, sounding almost ashamed. “It had been a week since we dropped her off and no word from Trixie or about Trixie.” Silently Brian lowered his head and closed his eyes, the memories obviously painful.
“What did you find when you got to her place?” Randy asked as he tried to put the pieces together for himself.
With a slow shake of his head, Brian responded, “Everything was just as we left it. Her car was still parked in the same spot. She was supposed to move it. It was parked in a restricted area.” Brian was having a hard time talking as the memories began flooding his mind.
“How do you know she hadn’t moved it?” Randy asked, feeling the need to prod Brian along.
“Parking tickets. She had several on the car.” Brian explained as a single tear escaped the corner of his eye. Quickly, he dashed it away. He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. He believed giving in to tears would be giving up on Trixie, and that was one thing he would never do.
The gesture was not lost on Dr. Collier. He had seen the tear, the determined set to his jaw, and the fierce glint in his eye. He knew how much this young man was hurting. He wondered just how close Brian was to completely breaking down.
Randy chose his words carefully, “Brian, if I accept you into my program as one of my assistants, how much time would you expect to have to yourself? And what exactly would you be doing with that time?”
The look of excitement that had overcome Brian’s demeanor as Randy first began to speak made it clearly evident that this was what Brian truly wanted. However the look of excitement was quickly replaced with a desperate look of apprehension as Brian weighed his answer. “Sir, I haven’t given the free time a thought… but as for how I’ll spend it. I know,” Brian paused; the peaceful look that overtook him spoke volumes as he finished with an unwavering voice, “I’ll find Trixie.”
Randy noticed he hadn’t said “look for,” or “search.” He had matter-of-factually said he’d find her. Randy didn’t doubt for one minute the young man’s desire to do just that. “Who am I to stand in his way?” he thought to himself
“I have a few more interviews to conduct before I’ll make my decision,” Randy said as he stood and walked back around his desk, “but your grades, and your recommendation letters are impeccable. I do have a question though.”
“All you need to do is ask it, sir. I have no reason not to answer,” Brian told him, hoping he hadn’t already revealed too much.
“I’m looking for someone to do some standard work like filing, typing my notes, tracking down supplies, among other things. This isn’t a paid position, and requires someone with high organizational skills with a strong background in science, but I don’t want a medical student. I want someone who won’t question what he’s asked to do. Someone responsible…” he finished leaving the description hanging.
“Sir, are you asking if I know anybody?” Seeing Randy’s nod, Brian continued, “As a matter of fact I do. Jim. He’s Trixie’s boyfriend and he’s a friend. Well, we were friends. I hope we will be again one day.”
“Were friends?” Randy asked, curious why he would put himself in a position to work with someone he had lost a friendship with.
Brian offered an uncomfortable shrug as he provided his answer. “He blames me. They all do.” He paused briefly, considering what to say next. “I love my sister, Dr. Collier, I want…no I need her home safely. That’s why I need to come here and find her. If I know Jim, he would do anything he could to get her back…even work with me.”
“Did they tell you it was your fault?” Randy was curious if this was Brian blaming himself or if others had laid this guilt on his shoulders.
Brian shook his head quietly. “No, sir, they didn’t have to. I’m her brother. I’m the oldest. It was my decision not to go back. How could they not blame me?”
Sensing something, Randy asked a question he thought Brian had never considered. “If you all were friends, why do you think they aren’t blaming themselves as well?”
The startled look that overtook Brian was unmistakable. Randy knew he had struck onto something; cautiously he inquired further, “Did you know it’s common to find family and loved-ones with misplaced guilt, in cases like this?”
“I wouldn’t call it misplaced,” Brian replied firmly, wondering why anyone could think differently. “After all, it is my fault.”
“Do you know where your sister is?” Randy asked bluntly.
Taken aback, Brian answer was defensive. “No, of course not. If I knew where Trixie was then she wouldn’t be missing.”
Not knowing if he should push much further, at least not yet, Randy decided to drop the subject for now and simply nodded his head in understanding, “Have Jim send me an e-mail if he’s interested.” Standing to indicate their meeting was over, he added, “I’ll talk to you by the end of the week… Sydney will be able to give you a packet of information on the study and housing information. Give her a call if any questions arise. It’s been nice talking to you, Brian.” The doctor extended his hand.
Brian took his hand and as he shook it asked, “Dr. Collier, do I have a chance?”
Randy nodded his head, “Yes, Brian, you are in the top 3 of the 12 that I have already met with. You stand an excellent chance.”
Brian nodded and said, “Thank you, sir. I hope to hear from you soon,” as he headed toward the door.
As the door closed, Randy said aloud as he settled into his seat, “Mr. Belden, you’ve got the job. And something tells me you need it.”
“Mr. Belden,” the young nurse said, “Dr. Collier will see you now.” She stepped to the office door and opened it.
“Thank you,” Brian said. He rose and wiped his now sweaty hands on his pant legs as he mentally prepared to meet the doctor whose work he had come to admire.
“Dr. Collier,” the nurse said as she led the way inside. “This is Brian Belden, a pre-med out of NYU,” she supplied as introduction.
“Thank you, Sydney.” Dr. Collier turned and faced the young student. “Brian, it’s good to finally meet you. All of your professors speak very highly of you.” He extended his hand to Brian.
“The pleasure is all mine, Dr. Collier. I am very intrigued by your work. I consider this opportunity to interview an honor in itself.” Brian accepted the doctor’s hand and hoped he didn’t sound like a starstruck teenager.
“Please call me Randy,” Dr. Collier told him. “Why don’t you take a seat and we’ll get started.” He indicated the chairs across from his desk.
Brian took a seat in one of the two available chairs and was surprised when Randy came from around the desk and sat in the other. As Dr. Collier swiveled his chair toward Brian, Brian swiveled to face the doctor.
“I find this type setting helps people to relax, and feel less intimidated. I hope you don’t mind,” Randy explained.
Brian nodded. “This is fine.” He hoped his nervousness wasn’t showing.
For the next half hour, Randy and Brian talked about medical school, favorite subjects, hobbies, and the impending research Dr. Collier was undertaking. Finally as Brian began to feel a conclusion to the interview approaching, he was asked the one question he had not anticipated.
“So, Brian… why don’t you tell me why you want to spend your summer in Chicago to become an unpaid research assistant for a man you do not know?”
Brian was visibly thrown. “Ex…Excuse me?” he asked as a way of seeking clarification.
“Brian, let me be honest with you… you are selling yourself too hard. You want this badly. I can tell from your answers, and although I’m honored you think so highly of my research… I just can’t help but wonder…” Dr. Collier informed him gently.
Brian looked crestfallen. Had he over prepared? He needed this. Had he blown it completely? His head was whirling with how to respond.
“Tell me, Brian… why my research? Why Chicago?”
Taking a deep breath, Brian let it out slowly and began.
“Dr. Collier, it all started about two years ago. My friends and I… moved my sister here, to Chicago. She had a scholarship to Great Lakes University,” Brian explained.
“Go on,” Randy encouraged him.
“Trixie… that’s my sister, she has… had wanted to be a detective, to study criminology and she was finally going to get started on her dream…” Brian let his voice trail off.
“Did something happen to your sister?” Dr. Collier asked.
Brian nodded as he continued, “Yes, she… disappeared.”
“Disappeared? What do you mean she disappeared?” he asked intrigued.
“The Bob-Whites, a club my sister and I both belong to,” Brian offered as way of giving a simple explanation, “drove Trixie down. We used three cars. One of them was Trixie’s, but we had seven drivers. We would need two cars to take the six of us home.” Brian was rambling, but Dr. Collier sensed he needed to let it all out, and merely encouraged him to continue.
“The day we left, Jim, Trixie’s boyfriend, called her. We were only two hours away. We could have… should have… gone back.” Brian was becoming upset. He stopped and breathed deeply.
“Why?” Randy asked. “What was wrong?”
“Trixie didn’t answer her phone, it went to her voicemail. She never turned her phone off. Not ever. We should have known. We… no, I… I should have known,” Brian said, dropping his head in his hands.
“What happened?” Randy asked, his voice not much above a whisper. He suddenly felt Brian was brought to him for this very reason. Whatever had happened to his sister was eating him alive. Randy vowed to himself that, no matter what, he would do his best to help him.
“Jim wanted to turn back. He was worried… but, I convinced him that we should keep going… that she was fine,” Brian stopped and shook his head. “If we’d turned back… like Jim wanted… maybe, just maybe some of the last two years could have been prevented.”
“What could have been prevented?” Randy asked quietly.
“Trixie’s disappearance.” Brian said simply. “No one has seen or heard from her since,” he further explained. “If we had gone back…maybe…” he shrugged helplessly.
“How would going back have changed things?” Randy asked, needing to understand why this young man appeared to be blaming himself.
“If we had gone back… looked for her ourselves… we could have found someone…anyone…who might have seen what happened to her. The authorities could have been looking sooner,” Brian concluded sounding as if he had heard someone say this over and over.
“When did they start looking?” Dr. Collier asked curiously.
“A week later.” Brian closed his eyes as he answered, haunted by the memory.
“Why so long?” Randy asked perplexed. It didn’t sound normal to him.
Taking a reassuring breath, Brian continued, “Jim kept trying to reach her all the way home. He never did get an answer. I tried, Moms and Dad tried, Mart, Honey, Di, Dan… even Bobby tried. We all left messages. All we got was her voicemail and she never called any of us back,” Brian explained, sounding helpless. “Finally Moms called the dean of students. Trixie had never reported to any of her classes. That’s when we knew… when we were certain that something was really wrong. Jim borrowed his dad’s private jet and flew back out here to check on her. My parents and the Bob- Whites all came with him,” Brian told him quietly, sounding almost ashamed. “It had been a week since we dropped her off and no word from Trixie or about Trixie.” Silently Brian lowered his head and closed his eyes, the memories obviously painful.
“What did you find when you got to her place?” Randy asked as he tried to put the pieces together for himself.
With a slow shake of his head, Brian responded, “Everything was just as we left it. Her car was still parked in the same spot. She was supposed to move it. It was parked in a restricted area.” Brian was having a hard time talking as the memories began flooding his mind.
“How do you know she hadn’t moved it?” Randy asked, feeling the need to prod Brian along.
“Parking tickets. She had several on the car.” Brian explained as a single tear escaped the corner of his eye. Quickly, he dashed it away. He wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. He believed giving in to tears would be giving up on Trixie, and that was one thing he would never do.
The gesture was not lost on Dr. Collier. He had seen the tear, the determined set to his jaw, and the fierce glint in his eye. He knew how much this young man was hurting. He wondered just how close Brian was to completely breaking down.
Randy chose his words carefully, “Brian, if I accept you into my program as one of my assistants, how much time would you expect to have to yourself? And what exactly would you be doing with that time?”
The look of excitement that had overcome Brian’s demeanor as Randy first began to speak made it clearly evident that this was what Brian truly wanted. However the look of excitement was quickly replaced with a desperate look of apprehension as Brian weighed his answer. “Sir, I haven’t given the free time a thought… but as for how I’ll spend it. I know,” Brian paused; the peaceful look that overtook him spoke volumes as he finished with an unwavering voice, “I’ll find Trixie.”
Randy noticed he hadn’t said “look for,” or “search.” He had matter-of-factually said he’d find her. Randy didn’t doubt for one minute the young man’s desire to do just that. “Who am I to stand in his way?” he thought to himself
“I have a few more interviews to conduct before I’ll make my decision,” Randy said as he stood and walked back around his desk, “but your grades, and your recommendation letters are impeccable. I do have a question though.”
“All you need to do is ask it, sir. I have no reason not to answer,” Brian told him, hoping he hadn’t already revealed too much.
“I’m looking for someone to do some standard work like filing, typing my notes, tracking down supplies, among other things. This isn’t a paid position, and requires someone with high organizational skills with a strong background in science, but I don’t want a medical student. I want someone who won’t question what he’s asked to do. Someone responsible…” he finished leaving the description hanging.
“Sir, are you asking if I know anybody?” Seeing Randy’s nod, Brian continued, “As a matter of fact I do. Jim. He’s Trixie’s boyfriend and he’s a friend. Well, we were friends. I hope we will be again one day.”
“Were friends?” Randy asked, curious why he would put himself in a position to work with someone he had lost a friendship with.
Brian offered an uncomfortable shrug as he provided his answer. “He blames me. They all do.” He paused briefly, considering what to say next. “I love my sister, Dr. Collier, I want…no I need her home safely. That’s why I need to come here and find her. If I know Jim, he would do anything he could to get her back…even work with me.”
“Did they tell you it was your fault?” Randy was curious if this was Brian blaming himself or if others had laid this guilt on his shoulders.
Brian shook his head quietly. “No, sir, they didn’t have to. I’m her brother. I’m the oldest. It was my decision not to go back. How could they not blame me?”
Sensing something, Randy asked a question he thought Brian had never considered. “If you all were friends, why do you think they aren’t blaming themselves as well?”
The startled look that overtook Brian was unmistakable. Randy knew he had struck onto something; cautiously he inquired further, “Did you know it’s common to find family and loved-ones with misplaced guilt, in cases like this?”
“I wouldn’t call it misplaced,” Brian replied firmly, wondering why anyone could think differently. “After all, it is my fault.”
“Do you know where your sister is?” Randy asked bluntly.
Taken aback, Brian answer was defensive. “No, of course not. If I knew where Trixie was then she wouldn’t be missing.”
Not knowing if he should push much further, at least not yet, Randy decided to drop the subject for now and simply nodded his head in understanding, “Have Jim send me an e-mail if he’s interested.” Standing to indicate their meeting was over, he added, “I’ll talk to you by the end of the week… Sydney will be able to give you a packet of information on the study and housing information. Give her a call if any questions arise. It’s been nice talking to you, Brian.” The doctor extended his hand.
Brian took his hand and as he shook it asked, “Dr. Collier, do I have a chance?”
Randy nodded his head, “Yes, Brian, you are in the top 3 of the 12 that I have already met with. You stand an excellent chance.”
Brian nodded and said, “Thank you, sir. I hope to hear from you soon,” as he headed toward the door.
As the door closed, Randy said aloud as he settled into his seat, “Mr. Belden, you’ve got the job. And something tells me you need it.”
